people who slip into proper grammar when they’re upset are terrifying
If they are calm, collected, not swearing and looking you right in the eye you better pray they are merciful.
(Source: syosama, via archerlink)
People need to realize that there are days when you’re not in the mood to talk or interact with anyone.
I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.
Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.
I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”
Have I mentioned the reasons why I don’t let mun do my makeup? Because she’s bad at it.
my anaconda dont want that in my life
So I work at target now and one of my favorite things to do when I hear something in the next aisle fall is to drop what I’m doing and stand at the end of that aisle like so:
Steal his look - Running Emoji Guy
• red polo - $340.00
• levi’s - $120.00
• nike roshe run - $79.99
remember when fckh8 got the addresses of a bunch of russian families with kids and wanted to be progressive and send them all coloring books featuring a lesbian couple, a plan which could endanger the lives of the people who unwillingly received the book and literally get thousands of people arrested. and fckh8 didn’t think about that possibility like at all
(Source: jyostar, via spiderwomanstacy)
I Have No Plot But I Know Which Groceries These Characters Would Buy: A Tale of Misplaced Priorities
shit i have to study for chem but i legitimately dont know how to study…